My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1975 - 1769: Illusory and Empty

"Grandpa, do you know? Now I feel that the relationship between Zihan and me is so fragile and elusive."

Zhang Zhentian heard his son tell him that his own father was critically ill, and he was somewhat taken aback, realizing that he had indeed angered his own father into illness. How should he deal with the turmoil in his heart now? Clearly, his father had good intentions, wanting him to return home, but why did he refuse so heartlessly this time? His father, at such an old age, spoke kindly to him, the son, yet how could his heart be so cruel as to abandon him?

At this moment, Zhang Zhentian realized what he had done wrong. If, because of this mistake, he truly lost his own father forever, how could he ever ease the guilt in his heart for the rest of his life? It was obviously a simple matter, a problem that could be solved with just a few words. Why had it become so complicated, and why had his family been hurt? He had missed so much, yet in the end, he still hurt every one of them. Perhaps he was not meant to live with them, or perhaps he was never worthy to be a part of their lives, because he brought them only pain, never happiness.

"Yichen, is what you’re saying true? How could grandpa be critically ill? I remember the last time I saw him, he was fine. How did he end up like this? What kind of shock did he go through?" Zhang Zhentian’s questioning only angered his son further. His son couldn’t understand. Although this matter involved his own father, why did he act so clueless? Was his grandpa really so unworthy of cherishing in his eyes? His grandpa loved him dearly and devoted everything to him, but why did things turn out like this, causing everyone pain?

"Do you still think this has nothing to do with you? Ever since grandpa came to you, wanting you to return home and stay by his side, after that night you spent together, he has been miserable at home. I was always worried he would fall ill, but I never expected him to actually get sick. If my wife hadn’t discovered it at home, he might not be with us today. If one day, my grandpa left this world because of any one of you, do you think I could forgive you? Do you think you deserve to exist in this world after hurting your own father? What else are you incapable of doing? Where is your conscience? He is your biological father. Even though he made many mistakes and hurt you, tried to control your destiny and arrange your life, you still left him, didn’t you? Over the years, he silently endured all the pain without telling me how much it hurt. If I hadn’t accidentally discovered him crying over your photo, I would never have understood. My grandpa might have a hard exterior, but his heart is truly soft. He is kind. Even if someone does him wrong, he can forgive with just a simple apology, no matter how grave the mistake. But the hurt you have caused him has made him unable to truly be happy for the rest of his life. You let him dwell in the abandonment he feels from you!

I really don’t understand my own father. How did your heart become so cruel? Do you feel happy after hurting grandpa?

Grandpa went through so much agony for you and mom. Do you know that? He missed you dearly, yet he chose to say nothing, letting you wander off alone because he knew you were rebelling against him. He didn’t want to back you into a corner, but what about you?

In truth, everyone has feelings. How could he not feel pain with the way you hurt him? He just chose to bear it all silently, enduring all the pressure and pain alone, while hoping to bring all the joy to his family, so they can live happily. But your actions have utterly shocked me. You’ve hurt him, making him into this ’bad’ relative in your eyes, but you don’t know what caused him to become like this!"

Zhang Zhentian was stunned. He didn’t expect his son to understand something he, as the elder, couldn’t grasp at all. Now, sometimes reflecting on himself, why was he so determined to hurt his father, making his father in his eyes seem just as his son described? And didn’t he know? His father, despite having wanted to control his destiny before, ultimately allowed him to become who he wanted. Didn’t he also live a period of happiness?

Why are people like this, never knowing to cherish what they have until it’s lost, and only then realizing the heartache?

"Child, regarding grandpa, father really didn’t do it on purpose, but I hope you can believe me. I never intended for grandpa to get sick and be hospitalized. I also hope he remains healthy and lives a long life. After all, he is my biological father, and that’s an unchangeable fact. No matter how hard-hearted I am or icy I may seem, I could never have no feelings for my own father. I rejected him that day out of impulse, and later, I thought I would return home, but then you told me grandpa was critically ill, a blow I found hard to take. If time could turn back, I definitely wouldn’t refuse him that day. I would carefully consider before telling him my decision. I want grandpa to know that, in truth, he is in my heart as my father, and I hope he can stay by my side and watch me grow old with him! But time is so cruel, leaving me no room for regret while wanting to repent every time I make a mistake. My fate is to live a life in repentance and guilt. Perhaps that’s my destiny, having made too many mistakes that I can’t even count. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. If you can forgive me, I would like to visit him in the hospital..."

"Child, don’t overthink it. Some things can’t be accomplished just because you want them to. Many things are not as simple as you imagine!"